Two sides of the coin

A coin has two sides, it may be different from each other, it is still on the same coin. That same coin will still be there if one side goes up and the other will be below. Why am I saying this? Because I know what it feels to be that coin. I have two different sides right now and I can’t help but be on one side at a time. It is actually a nagging feeling really. The sides of the coin may be the heart on one side, the brain on the other. There is definitely an instance that both sides don’t choose alike. It’s as if they have their own thinking and they do it independently. If you don’t follow one, the other gets brushed aside and scratched so hard. It is really a pain, but hey, what can I do, I am still that same coin and all I can do is endure the pain.

Love and pain, joy and sorrow. So when it hurts, don’t forget whose child you are

A line just brushed by while listening to a song, but definitely didn’t just pass through my ears. It really hurts, but I have to endure. Guilt is transpiring, for I am knowing that I am hurting someone too, and I can’t do anything about it. The past keeps on coming back most probably because it hasn’t ended. Yeah, I do believe it hasn’t ended. Because it wasn’t closed. We just kept our mouths shut and we built unbreakable walls. We broke each others’ hearts so much and far too many we just got tired of it. We broke promises to each other so much and far too many we just can’t trust each other anymore. Sometimes fairy tales does not end in happy endings. And our story ended sadly. Or so it seems. If ever there will be a glimpse of hope for us in this lifetime, I won’t be alive to see it.

We both ended it, and we will be blamed for its ending. The dread will still be there, for days, months or even years. The regret will still hurt. And memories cannot be forgotten that easily. I wish things could just be set aside if it has finished, that easy, and that painless. But it isn’t. And we all have to live with it, endure until it subsides.

I have had a number of posts that are sad as well. I have said one too many times that I am hoping that this post would be the last sad one, but I keep on breaking those hopes and wishes. Because sadness doesn’t want to leave me, and even if happiness is getting me nowadays, guilt takes me back to sadness as it reminds me of that someone I loved so much, and yet hurt even more.

Let’s just leave this one up to Him. I just couldn’t do anything more.

Peace. I pray for peace of mind. For both sides of the coin.

Jesus Rocks!

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