Should I be posting a sad entry even if I feel otherwise now?

Let me reconstruct another one. From the previous entry that I was trying to make, I was having a lot of promise and excitement, now this one would be mixed in terms of emotions. To think that it will eventually come in one way or the other, to think that in the long run you are preparing for it, when it comes it still hurt. This can be applicable to the two ways of the same aspect. It will either be from a sudden way wherein a divine intervention would come along eventually or the other way wherein it is originally planned. At least I tried, I was prepared for it, or so it seems but eventually I wasn’t. It still hurts. Even if it doesn’t actually end, it pains me to think that I would be left behind without even a nice promise that I should have something to wait for because of the fact that compromise is not an option or to safely say- a dilemma. Makes me think back, why did I really wait for this? Am I regretting (still) the decision I made to stick with something that I knew all along was a disappointment?In reality, I am loving what I have right now, but the fact that all the blogs that I have written regards to this are so negative, I really don’t know now. The reality says it’s just OK but when you look at the records it may seem so bad. On a lighter note, if push comes to shove and the time of leaving has come, I would definitely have the time in my hands, which makes it more time for travel- a solitary travel is still a bliss for me. I have been alone taking adventures by myself for the longest time in my life and losing it very briefly stands up so well and I feel that I am missing it. Planning ahead is really my cup of tea. I really like it so much that I have found a way to adjust everytime that things don’t go as planned. But with this one, could I be doing another adjustment again? Abangan ang susunod na kabanata. 🙂

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